My Nose

MAD props to my bfffffff Alyssa. Ingenious. Using chapstick on your nose when it's all sore and stingy from blowing it all the time. My nose is forever indebted to you. (And yes, I said MAD props. Don't judge me.)

Why I Love the People at My Job...

As most know, I got married on September 18th, 2009. I changed my name on September 20th, 2009. I filled out the appropriate paperwork to change my name at work in...October or so. I figured what's the rush?? :) It has taken until 2 days ago, emails back and forth to HR, and filling out a new set of paperwork for me to receive notification that in order to "comply" with our company's policy and the Department of Health, I needed to turn in my old photo id badge for a new one with the appropriate changes on it. I'm sorry, but you're totally making me feel threatened by this when I put my name change information in MONTHS AGO and NOW I need to comply to policy. Ok fine. I primp and preen to make sure my new id badge is super special. It does have my new name it, after all! I take time out of my lunch break today and walk the 1/2 mile across the hospital, down to the basement to the inner depths of hell to the ID Bage/Parking office. I walk in and wait patiently. This is the conversation and my experience:

Me: Hi! I got an email stating I needed to come down for a new badge. (Hands her old badge)
Her: ...silence.......more silence....*nasty voice* Did you have a NAME CHANGE or SOMETHING??? *glares at me*
Me: YeS. *extra pronounciation on the S*
Her: Well WHAT is your new name??? *nasty voice*
Me: Hoerner. H-O-E-R...
Her: *nasty tone* H..O...What??
Me: *Nastier tone while staring her in the eye* E-R-N-E-R
Her: ....silence....
Her: ....more silence...
Her: ....even MORE silence...
Seriously, I'm about to explode from the tension in this office.
Badge machine is making funny noises...
Her: ....she's still silent...
About 2 minutes later out pops my id, she snatches it from the machine. Looks at the back. Sweetly smiles at me and hands it over.
Her: There you are!! :)
Me: Thank you VERY much!!! :) *underlying tone seriously b*tch I wanna punch you*

First of all, hang on a sec, where's my new pic???! I didn't even dare go there bc if she was rude to me any more I was seriously going to climb over the desk and harm her in some way. I primped for nothing. And I'm stuck with my picture from last year with part of my hair sticking up. AWESOME.
Second, I don't feel it's EVERY necessary to be so hostile in dealing with other humans. Unless that person is threatening your life or is trying to harm you in some fashion...be nice! Our hospital's current "motto" is: Good people. Great Care. Or something along those lines. I'm thinkin' they may want to reconsider that first part considering some of the ogres they have working in this place. Sheesh.. Remind me never to change job positions or change my name EVER again.

Loud Talkers

I have a co-worker who feels the need to practically yell in normal conversation. Luckily we don't work directly together, but she's still THERE. Maybe she has a medical condition that she can't control the volume of her voice? Nope, I'm just gonna say she's the type of person who feels the need for EVERYONE to hear what she's saying. Obviously what she has to say is WAY more important than everyone else and she knows ABSOLUTELY everything about EVERYTHING. It makes me crazy. I'm sitting at my desk currently. There are MULTIPLE walls in between her and I...I can hear her and it hurts my ears. My husband accuses me of having a hearing superpower, but I can assure you--I'm no superhero. Seriously, I'd love to scream at this woman. She makes me crazy. With her "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!!" attitude. I may go postal...wait I'm not a mail carrier. We'll call it...oh I'm so deaf in my right ear right now I can't think straight...we'll just call it ape-shit. Yes. That sounds about right. Friggin' ape-shit. Oy...someone save me.

Update

The bathroom situation was A-OK today. :) Just sayin'!

Bathroom of Panic...

I hate when you go in to the bathroom and it's just you and another person. Silence. You go in your stall. Silence. You unzip. Silence. You proceed to squat on the potty. Silence. You TRY to non-chalantly start to pee. Silence. You're trying SOOO hard to pee! Silence. You can't pee!!! Silence. And if you try to...what if you fart???! But you KNOW inside your head that you HAVE TO PEE. Silence. COME OUT PEE!!!! Silence. Finally....a trickle. Silence. A steady stream starts and you start to relax. Silence. Aaaannnnd...done. Still silence. You wonder what the other person is doing. Is there going to be a massive eruption as you exit the bathroom?? Are they ok?? I wonder if they're sleeping...? Silence. You pull up your drawers, button and zip. Unlock yourself from your dungeon of panic. Silence. Wash hands. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z. Silence. What the crap are you doing in there???? Silence. Dry off your hands as quickly as possible because now you know that there's probably a disaster about to strike in that stall. Exit bathroom stage left..or right however you're standing. Silence. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS GOING ON IN THERE?? Soo weird...
I know there is probably a rational reason as to why this scenario went down the way it did. Maybe she was having some tummy issues. That's when I find a PRIVATE bathroom. Seriously, if her bottom exploded into a nuclear cloud of horrible-ness why would you make anyone else experience that?? Awful.

And this ladies and gentleman is the type of thing that goes through my head.